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I’m in a funk….

My parents just left back to Israel after an amazing three week visit with us and I feel a pit in my stomach. Its so hard, going from having a house full of people to this sudden quiet. It sucks, REALLY sucks, to be so far away from my family.

I’m sitting here in my living room feeling shell shocked from the sudden change. Of course I’m grateful my parents have the opportunity to visit us in the USA frequently — but the first couple of days after they leave are one big funk for me.

When I put Aviv to bed, about 1/2 an hour after they left, I got into bed with her and just cuddled. Both of us so sad. Then she turned to look at me and said “Saba and Savta aren’t here to sleep in my room any more. When I will wake up in the middle of the night they won’t be here and I will be SO SAD”. Then her face crumpled up and she sobbed into my hair and my heart shattered into a million pieces and leaked through my eyes.

I will be pretty much stewing in my own misery the next couple of days, and that’s ok. I always go through this funk. The heaviness weighing on my heart will loosen it’s grip and allow me to breath easier.

And to lighten the mood of this post, here is a picture I took a couple of months ago. I photographed a gorgeous wedding at the Ritz Carlton in St. Thomas, and I also set up time for pure “me time”. It consisted of books, relaxation right there on the beach a couple feet from the ocean waves, and waiters bringing me lunch and rum cocktails. Ahhhhhh…..

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  • zivaAugust 17, 2012 - 9:23 PM

    אני קוראת ובוכה כי הלב שלי נקרע. אני כבר כל כך מתגעגעת אליכם.

  • NinaAugust 17, 2012 - 9:23 PM

    This makes my heart sad. 🙁 Just snuggle that baby girl and everything will feel better.

  • MichalAugust 17, 2012 - 9:36 PM

    So poignantly written and just breaks my heart. I too know the heartache of a family miles and miles away. Just hold on to your baby, dive into the amazing work you’re doing and hold on.

  • RossAugust 24, 2012 - 4:32 AM

    I know how your feeling all too well! I just left from visiting my family out on the West coast. My girls get to see Nana once a year and it’s always hard to leave. My five year old said to me yesterday that she wished Nana was here to read her a bedtime story! It’s so hard saying goodbye isn’t it!